Today...

... I am rereading posts from when I started this blog in 2005 (can it really be over 6 years that I started this thing?) and am remembering the 'good old days' when in reality we are still living them.

... We went to the dentist and unfortunately Ashleigh had to have a filling (poor but brave little girl).

... Sloppy Joes is what we ate for dinner along with corn from our vegetable garden.

... Ryan and I played with Legos (I made an awesome flying car with a way cool shooting spear).

... The start of school is fast approaching and the sounds of late night giggles and backyard camp fires will soon be a fond memory.

... I tried to start a post about our Grand Canyon road trip but then got sidetracked.

... At times I think I live a pretty darn comfortable albeit boring life (or is it the other way around?).

... My husband told me it was National S'mores Day.

... I need to remember my word of the year, lighten, in terms of my spirit.

... I snapped this photo of this golden green and iridescent dragonfly perched right outside our door (Ashleigh was sure it was Sam's grandchild).

North Bay and a birthday

Dave had a birthday and we enjoyed a wonderful day together going from his bike race in Novato to lunch and ice cream cones at Stinson Beach to fresh oysters from Drake's Bay and back home again for a backyard barbeque.  A lovely way to spend the day celebrating.

Quotes

Some words that have helped me recently... so I thought I'd share.

I found all of the images on pinterest.com

Long Monday

Today was a field trip to the Lawrence Hall of Science.  It was a great adventure up in the foggy Berkeley Hills.

Later, after getting home at about 2pm and then doing carpool at 2:45 and then pick up again at 3:45 for Ashleigh after her Art class, I was exhausted.

At 6pm, it was back to school for Girl Scouts.

Finally home at 7:30 and then showers for everyone.

At about 8:15, after reading 3 short books, I tucked the girl and the boy in by myself as Dave was attending an 'After Busy Season' dinner.  I closed Ryan's door and said (I thought to myself) "Whew, what a day."  I heard Ryan say softly, "Yeah, Mama, let's see what tomorrow brings!"  Okay, sweet boy... just give me a short breather tonight.

Us.

One of the small perks of belonging to a co-op and having both children enrolled is that if there is space open on one of the days I work in the classroom then we all get to be in school together. Yesterday was one of those day and it was the last. Snack was crackers, bagels, carrots and dip, grapes and juice. The craft was making bracelets from beads and making foam photo frames. They sang Itsy Bitsy Spider, Bringing Home a Baby Bumblebee, and a song about an Alligator, too. Good preschool times.

It can be chaotic at times and messy... it can also be so, so wonderful. I am absolutely and entirely thankful that Dave and I have made choices in our lives that allows me to be here today and tomorrow and the next.

Pajama Day

Dave worked at preschool this week. It was pajama day. How fun is that for a dad? Tons of fun, of course.

I am so thankful for this time we have together.  So very thankful.

One more day.

One.  More.  Day.

Simply, Merry Christmas

This year I learned it is not about what you got for Christmas but what you already have.

Today we made cookies.  Well, we kind of made cookies.  I bought a package of snowmen shaped cookies from Trader Joe's and well, we busted out the icing and sprinkles and went to town.  Of course, the children wore their swimsuits.  Isn't that traditional?  Dude, it's California.  

So, when I for some reason or another was with my in-laws once on Valentine's Day, my father-in-law came home from work with a cookie for his wife and very sweetly he brought me one too.  A heart shaped sugar cookie with jelly inside and powdered sugar on top.  A quiet gesture from a quiet man.  He would make me dinner when I was pregnant with Ashleigh and needed to spend the night at their home because I was telecommuting and had to come into the office.  We would watch shows like JAG and 24 until Anne came home from teaching night school.  Good simple times.  

Tom passed away on Sunday.  I will be honest here.  The news brought me right back to my own father's death.  The look in Dave's eyes.  The horrible sickness in your gut.  Realizing it will be Tom and Anne's wedding anniversary in a few days.  It's all miserable f'in shit.  Time is the only thing that makes it better.

And so I will always remember those humble moments of his kindness and generosity.  Tom's way of showing his love for you.  Thank you, Tom.  Godspeed on your way home.

Down with O. P. B. G.

Other People's Baked Goods, that is.  The children were invited to two Christmas baked goods decorating parties this weekend.  I tell you what though it was great and now I don't have to do it!  Ryan joined in for a bit and then was off playing both times and Ashleigh was intent on creating a masterpiece.

We watched the Wizard of Oz tonight.

"If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard, because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with." -Dorothy

(Dave trying out his new bottle opener flip flops)

(Ashleigh trying out Daddy's old flip flops)

Amazing...

So, yesterday Dave and I celebrated our 7th anniversary.  We went to Point Isabel with the crew for a fun and blustery afternoon of dog walking (not dog chasing anymore) and getting out in the fresh air, er Bay air... If it all ended with just that then the anniversary would have been just fine in my book.

And yet the hits just kept on coming...

Um, long story short... Dave and I went out to dinner later that night and well, I don't know how to say this any other way but.... The couple sitting next to us paid for our meal!!!!!!!  Yup, you read that right.  They told us that years ago another couple did that for them and they had wanted to do the same to another couple one day... that one day just happened to be May 26, 2008... our 7th anniversary.  Wow!  Talk about pay it forward... wow.

Oh, and, yes, the meal was quite delicious.  :)

wow.

An amazing and sad and hopeful story here... realizing how blessed we all really are... how precious each moment, each mundane and glorious moment, is.

Max.

He is a little peanut... his diaper looks like a gauze pad... everything is there and it's perfect... just tiny.

The mom goes home tomorrow... he stays until July.

I am on the list of those who can go in to the NICU to see him without the parents being there.  An absolute honor... I can't help but feel lucky... blessed in so many ways.

Too much.

A lot has been happening around us here... unexpected events and a new baby born too soon.  Lots of prayers... trying to find peace... thankful for the little things... again...

Today I am thankful for...

the warmth of the sunshine.

a place to grow another Victory garden.

Burt's Bees Lip Balm (works like a charm for me).

my handy husband who can make bedside tables exactly how I want them from chunks of wood.

these two children I am proud to call my own... yup, I let them paint themselves in the bathtub... sure it was a mess but it all rinsed down the drain.

Beautiful.

Such a beautiful day today... we took a walk to the park, played outside with the neighbors on the cul-de-sac and grilled a steak for dinner. Beautiful.

This guy cracks me up...

... and sometimes he's totally ridiculous but today he made some good points about what to be happy about in his column. Yup, I live in the Bay Area and I'm happy about that...

I know I'm happy about two others things... that 1) last night when I thought I'd have to go into preschool and work I called my mom and asked her if she could watch the children as they were (and still are) too sick to go to preschool and I unfortunately hadn't found a sub for me... that I thought would never happen and it did... "that" being my mom lives close enough to me so I can call her up and ask just that... and she said okay, too, and 2) at about 9pm I checked my email and another mom from preschool let me know that she would cover my shift... so very happy.

So now after watching Happy Feet and having both children fall asleep during it... I'm quite happy, too.

...if you listen very hard, the tune will come to you at last.

The other day I stumbled across this quote by Frida Kahlo. "I tried to drown my sorrows but the bastards learn to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling."

So.............

Yesterday, our humble home hosted 2 playdates... one scheduled, the other not. First a boy from Ashleigh's preschool came over while his mom had her hair done and the other playdate was unscripted as the children next door dropped over... At times a bit overwhelming but they are all good little souls. Good suburban times.

Anyway... as I'm doing my laundry this morning my mind wandered to our craptastic studio in Long Beach and the horribleness of it all. I can remember when I moved in with Dave and going to visit his sister and thinking how the bonus room in her house was the size of this studio. Yup, it's true. The parking was terrible, the alley behind the place was sketchy on its best days and the bathroom... ugh, the bathroom. Thank goodness the ceiling fell in over the shower one day which forced me to find us another place in good ole Surf City.

So anyway... I remember during those days thinking that when Dave and I were married and had children that one of us would stay home with them. And how that was super important to us. We would raise our children and that was the only option.

Yes, I know that in this house (aka charming mid century rancher) we are already feeling its demure size, we don't have brand new shiny cars (fact, my truck has over 150,000 miles on it!), the formica countertop in our kitchen is falling apart and... >insert one of a hundred complaints about life here<... And yet... here I am with our 2 small children... at home... on a Thursday afternoon cleaning up the debris of two playdates and typing not at a desk in an office. I'm at home.


(Taken outside in our backyard in the middle of the afternoon)

Not really sure where I'm going with this but now I know that we had to live in that wretchedly heinous studio to get perspective and work really hard and be on our own and continue to hold tight to our dreams and remind ourselves of what is truly important in this world and keep the faith... and keep the faith.


(From my perspective on the blanket enjoying the tea she has just made for me)

American Beauty

Came across a You Tube video as I clicked from one site to another to another and again... you know what I'm talking about. First time I saw this movie it didn't phase me and the second time I simply cried at the perfectness of the ending. This is one of my favorite movie scenes ever. EVER.

Oh and strange fact about that ending... the scene over the top of the neighborhood was filmed in Sacramento somewhat near mid-town... quite close to where I had my first apartment. Huh.